I’m a work in progress

Quote

As many of you already know, I am all for figuring out how we can disagree in a healthy way, how we can have many different, opposing views and still co-exist in a healthy way. I consider it a form of wealth. In most instances I will make time to have a conversation and see it to the end (no matter how hard it is), so when I say I wanted to get up and walk away from this conversation, please understand what that means. I felt that I had reached a dead end. That there was nothing of value that I could add to the conversation or take from the conversation, it was almost as though I would have been contributing by walking away. Afterwards, I got home, still feeling fragile and worked up from some of the personal attacks I had endured in the conversation. That is where this thought process was sparked from. I shared it as a status update and the over 100 likes and comments showed me that it resonated deeply with many people (some of which stopped me in the streets to say “thank you” and “I agree”) so I thought I share it over here too.

“I am not a socialist, nor am I a capitalist. I am not black. I am not a coconut. I am not anti-American nor am I pro-African (I know that I have just compared a country to a continent – no need to point it out). I am not a feminist either. I am an individual that is bi-polar & schizophrenic and wild and tame and confused and self-assured. I am masculine and feminine. I am confused and certain. I am a puzzle made up of beautiful as well as ugly. I’m a talker. I’m a listener. I’m loud. I’m silent. I’m passionate and apathetic. I am part of the “system(s)” and I am not. I am all of this and none of this. You know why? I am a product of all I see and encounter. I am a work-in-progress. I’m allowed to be.”

There’s No Such Thing as White Music

I have been experiencing a high level of brain activity lately. Brain vs Heart activity. My brain tells me about reality and my heart whispers tales of the soul. My brain points out race and racism, my heart reminds me that it is merely a construct of our society and that souls have no race. My brain tells me to work hard and pursue a life with the comforts of money, my heart smiles warmly and shows me pictures of where I would rather be – next to a lake with the sun beating down on my backside. My brain tells me I am a woman that needs to prove herself at every turn, my heart soothes me and massages my back from the inside out “Didi, your amazingness shines through in your every move and every word, you have nothing to prove to anybody, lest of all the non-believers”.

My friends tell me I listen to white music. My heart dances to the tunes I choose and whilst dancing screams with arms raised to the ceiling “there’s no such thing as white music!” and continues to dance across the room with carefree abandon.

Here is a collection of music that my heart and I groove to, cry to, dance to, laugh to, relax to:


https://soundcloud.com/bong-kim/4-asa-eye-adaba

charles bukowski

2013 in review

Last year I received the same kind of report and decided to keep it private, this year I am doing things a little differently. Here is a summary of my Blog’s annual report!!

Thank you all for visiting this Blog and commenting and pulling me aside to discuss the contents in person and for all the private emails, messages and phonecalls. You are my fuel!

A super-special tack to “The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys” who prepared this 2013 annual report for my blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 8,700 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

My work ignites me!

Since I have started working at my new job (which doesn’t feel so new at times) I have been completely stimulated by the conversations, insights and knowledge that I have been encountering.

I can not begin to describe how overflowing my cup is at this very moment. I feel like a school-child learning new things every single day. I didn’t think it would be possible to feel this way about my work. And to think hat I get paid to be here makes me even happier.

Let’s just say that since I have started working here I am realising more and more the importance of cities and their huge potential to become hubs of inclusivity, productivity and creative engagement. (Please note that I am fully aware that these words do very little to describe the kind of vibrant city I am speaking on, but they are all I have for now)

Here is a little video I cam across which gives a little glimpse into the kind of work that has been done in the city of Medellin in Colombia. I am a HUGE fan of what has happened in that city and how it has come about. Some of you know that I have put a lot of love and energy into 100in1day Cape Town as I see this a potential new form that could solve a lot of current global and local issues. Glocal solution finder 🙂

This is what I love about what has happened in Medellin

Please click this link to access the video on the Monocle website

 

medelin02

 

Source of image – here

Important things for Didi to remember…

This weekend marks the first gasp of breathe upon reaching the shore after a long, deep swim in the waters of hard work.

What better way to unwind and reflect than to spend a weekend in a wonderful wooden home on a mountain overlooking the sea?

A busy train ride to the seaside transported me to a totally different space. One of the things I appreciate most about this place I call home. That it is possible to hop on a train and be by the seaside.

This weekend highlighted to me some really important things. Things that I very often forget and take for granted. Here’s my top 5 list of important things for Didi to remember:

  • Surround yourself with strong women: Powerful women replenish my energy levels, they hold a deep understanding like no other. Remember to connect with them in order to remember that which you forgot that you have forgotten.
  • Drink Tea: There is some ancient wisdom that comes in each tea-leaf. This wisdom enters through your taste buds and stays and restores some kind of calm. (I discovered PMS tea this past weekend. What a wonderful invention, made up of a concoction of wholesome herbs)
  • Read a book: In my rush of getting things done, I have been reading loads, staying up late cramming into my brain; information about some serious topics to be used in my daily work. This weekend I packed a book I bought in Belgium that has been lying patiently by my bedside, wishing me goodnight and goodmorning each day for months. We re-connected again. I had lost touch with how good it feels to travel to some other place, using words and the imagination as a decorated vehicle.
  • Sunsets are a free reset button and sunrises are a reminder of the blank canvas that is each new day: A kind, gentle reminder to breathe and let it go. Let it go. Whatever has happened has happened and the only way is forward. Let it go.
  • Long baths offer some healing for the body and soul: I’ve mentioned in this Blog a few times before; the power of healing that water holds. I was very quickly and beautifully reminded of that by taking a wonderful hot bath with oils this weekend. I want a bathtub! I’m not sure how. But I do!

The last 3 days have been a gift from heaven, thank you to my beautiful friends for this. Next week is more of the same with a different pocket of friends and the next week sees me playing bridesmaid for a good friend of mine who is marrying another really good friend of mine. How lucky! I am nervous and excited. Mainly nervous because I don’t know if I’ll fit in the dress…eeek! Time to get jogging!

November looks like it will be the soft bed I’ve been fantasizing running home to jump up and down on!

businessman-jump-sky-clouds

Okay, Okay, more like….

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Source of image 1 – here

Source of image 2 – here

More about the work I have been immersed in in the next post…

The dating mis-adventures of Didi

Very recently I cried myself to sleep. It made me so sad that I had nobody to hold at night. But deeper than that, it was deep dissatisfaction with who I found myself to be. I found myself questioning every single part of myself. My looks, my smell, my hair, my finances, my outlook, my path so far, my eating habits, my hobbies, me everything.

I began to question where I went wrong, why was I not worthy of love? The kind of love I felt I deserved that particular evening.

The sadness I felt that night stayed with me a for a long time to come and it forced me to re-think and re-work some aspects of my life. I wrote a poem which now lives on my wall. It is titled “I am enough” and goes on to detail why I deserve the best and am the best no matter what, whether I have a lover or not. Another favourite discovery was this here quote:ggg

Since then I have lightened up a little and have decided to have a little fun with my predicament. Seriously, the tears of sadness have been replaced with tears of laughter, the kind that roll down your cheek and often result in the contribution towards a 6-pack. Yes. I have been looking at my dating history and laughing at my timeline.

At some point I remember being wooed by a guy who had a pet stuffed parrot. Yes, a PET, STUFFED, PARROT. This guy proceeded to romance me with evening phonecalls where he would proudly divulge that he was reading articles about cadavers… this did little to quieten my suspicions that I might soon be turned into a real life cadaver that would reside in a freezer in some basement that “he knew nothing about”. The thing with me is that I love uniform, he was a marine. A marine who sailed with a STUFFED PET PARROT perched on his shoulder. I think no.

Then there are the numerous times I have found myself in the friendzone dumping ground, I have done some market research and have subsequently discovered that the main reason behind this, is that I am TOO NICE. Please re-read that sentence and once you have made sense of it explain it to me.

I have since taken stock of this diagnosis of friendzone by too-niceness to heart and have taken some time away from Cape Town where I spent days in the highveld sun reading “Why men marry bitches”  a book that was not particularly well written but quenched my thirst for understanding what exactly it was about my nice-girl attitude and way of being that made me a friend zone ragdoll. After pages of what seemed like strange advice, I get it. Be aloof, get a man. Pay no attention they will come running.

I haven’t managed to put this into action, if anything I have a sealed envelope beside me which I plan on dropping off at a friends place on my way home, a friend who might be a little minor crush, I’m not telling.

The problem is that I like who I am, I like that I write people notes and hand written letters and drop them off. I like creating experiences that make people go “wow”, I like being nice.

Given this finding I have decided to start a project. This project is going to be undertaken by my alterego – little miss-match. Let’s call it a social experiment called 7evendays 7evendates.

You will meet her soon enough. She is busy fixing her outfit and preparing her profile image. She is somewhat of a character. The project itself will have you glued to the blog. Just watch.

There is more where these misadventures come from including drunk dialling my crush who I subsequently refused to kiss…(more on this later), a marriage proposal to James Blake and much more.

This piece is meant to quench a mini thirst…

My blogpost on the Orms Direct website!

This morning I went over to visit Mike and the team at Orms Direct. I look forward to going over there – everyone is so friendly and helpful and I just love being surrounded by photo-equipment and people who know about images. I love looking through the wide-variety of books on display! And the coffee, it makes me happy! Have a latte when you get there. It will make your experience even more enjoyable.

Mmeeting people in person is one of teh best things in life! I was lucky enough to meet the team (MissAnnelien and francoiswnel) that tweets and retweets and keeps the rest of the world up to date with what Orms has on offer.

I told tales of the trip whilst showing images to Mike and Jason. So much fun to relive those moments long gone by.

I also got to check out the print room located at 66 Roeland Street – what a GREAT space! The architecture, the way the light shines in there, the interior decor, the setup, the services on offer. I found myself lingering and not wanting to leave! Go check it out sometime, you’ll understand what I mean! The website is coming soon – but if I were you I would keep up to date by liking their newly started facebook page.

orms print room(This image was not taken by me – I procured it from their facebook page)

Here’s the blogpost  I wrote on the Orms Direct website. Keep abreast with the latest in the world of photography by following them on twitter and facebook – do yourself that favour.