I don’t know how much longer I’m going to keep updating this blog. I’m back in South Africa now and although my journey with cultivating and tending my Swedishgarden within will forever continue until I die, I feel it is time to move on to other projects… However, today I wish to share something with the readers of this blog, because we have come quite a long way together.
At the beginning of this week, I had the most terrible 2 days I have had since arriving back in Cape Town. Every thing was weighing heavily on my heart and finances. I felt totally broken and in the wrong place, I questioned everything that I was doing, where I was, whom I surrounded myself by and even going as far as questioning WHO I was, I literally cried from Sunday night until Tuesday late morning (turns out it was the lunar new year, perhaps that had something to do with my intense emotional state). Anyway, what I wish to share about is how this past week has also ended up being the MOST BEAUTIFUL week I have had since being back in Cape Town.
I have been very blessed to have spent the week with musicians that I love and admire, TUESDAY I went to a live performance by Gary Thomas (who literally stoked my fires, I felt my light burning again), on WEDNESDAY I went to an exhibition around Typography (which totally blew my mind in a way I had never ever anticipated) on THURSDAY my friends who perform in a band (The Brother Moves On)that’s gaining a major amount of popularity in SA came here for the Design Indaba and we reconnected (personally I think they should all just move to Cape Town, my life is so much more enjoyable when they are around), they invited me to their gig which was also a performance by Zaki Ibrahim (on my list of top 5 favourite artists in the whole wide world) and also Fletcher who is both a pillar in the music scene as well as a dear friend to me, on FRIDAY I got to hang out with a beloved friend I hadn’t seen in a very very long time whom I’ve been feeling like I’ve been neglecting – she now knows where I live so we’re likely to spend more quality time together as well as attend the free yoga classes offered by Greenpop , also on the same day my friends who play in another amazing band in SA (Soul Housing Project) invited me to the Grand Daddy Hotel for their regularly rooftop gigs, this time round they had Jimmy Dludlu – musical LEGEND in the South African context and beyond – playing with them, not only did I meet him, I took a photo with him which ended up being part of the reason why I won a R500 bar tab for me and my friends!
((I wanted to include the photo here, but I’m not able to upload it for some reason, go to my twitter page and you will see it – my twitter handle is @TheDidiness))
My phone got stolen that night (last night) but there was nothing that would take this beautiful feeling growing inside and radiating out into the world from me!
Today I worked at the Holi One Colour Festival, which was beyond my imagination, it was beautiful, I remember taking a moment and taking in where I was and what I was doing and thinking to myself “this is so surreal, my life is so incredible right now” and I held on to that moment for a while.
(This is the closest I could come to what I was a part of today, every hour was an explosion of colour)
The point of this entire post, is not to brag about what fun I’m having in Cape Town, it is more to share this piece of information. [ I’m calling it information because it is a fact to me].
WHENEVER YOU FEEL MOST LIKE SAYING NO TO AN EXPERIENCE OR A PERSON, SAY YES AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
What I didn’t mention above is that there is a guy that I have been pushing away for the LONGEST time and I finally gave him the time of day(I invited him to come meet me at the Exhibition), I was very nervous, worrying that he wouldn’t feel comfortable with my friends and in that environment ( I am very embarrassed to admit this, however it is the honest truth. I had made my mind up about how he would feel and react – I judged him) this guy ended up being such a pleasant companion, I saw his beauty, the internal kind that every person deserves to have acknowledged by another, something I didn’t think would EVER happen. I don’t think we will date or anything like that, it’s just that, that experience showed me that perhaps I need to trust people to be who they say they are and to trust that they know themselves best and that sometimes people just want an opportunity to show you their best. That’s all.
They want you to see their best and acknowledge that it is there. To witness it if I may say so.[ That’s a mouthful, read it again and see if you agree]
I may even go a step further and invite you to try and apply it to your own life. I’m curious to hear what effects this will have on your life. If you aren’t already doing so, which you very well may.
Things are not by any means perfect, no, there is a lot I’m working on and with and I’m dancing between many places right now but at least I’m dancing.
And for that I am thankful.