So as you have probably gathered, mainly from this post, I got the chance to visit the city of Paris. To be totally honest, it was not my favourite place. The smell of pee was unavoidable also, there was something really rough about the place, I know some of you won’t believe me when I say this, but I don’t particularly like French. The language. I don’t like how it sounds. There it is. However, this post is not about the roughness of the French city. It’s about matters of the heart.
I captured this image on a bridge over the Seine River on the way to the Louvre. Pretty exciting. When I saw this bridge FILLED with all kinds of locks from lovers from all over the world, I was filled with awe. It looked so beautiful. I zoomed in on some and saw dates and names, promises and agreements. The locks were somehow attractive to me.
This morning I woke up feeling puzzled by the situation I have somehow manoeuvred myself into. More on that at a later stage. Perhaps now is not the time to share that story yet as it is still being woven.
The state I woke up in brought this revelation.
These locks represent something, they are a symbol, a physical representation of something deeper, intangible and unnameable. Something shared between 2 people (in most cases that I zoomed in on).
I suppose the biggest thing I took from this phenomenon was that they were some sort of agreement between those people.
This morning after tossing and turning in bed and pacing about in my mind, I felt like those locks were an illusion. Symbolically off course (because I definitely saw them and touched them, they were real) but what perhaps is the illusion is that the love belongs between the 2 of them. Almost stuck.
Locks remind me of control and prison. Not freedom and flow. Which I believe love is partly an external expression of.
I am not one to give advice on love, oh no, considering my mishaps and downright disasters in this aspect of my life. But I can share that part of why I am in the situation I am in, is because I wanted to have a lock with my name on it. A part of me wanted and (still sort of wants) to be “stuck” with someone and I’m not sure how much of this yearning comes from me and how much is from external impressions and pressures piercing into my soul disguising themselves as my own.
[Actually the topic of free choice is a big one for me. I often wonder how much of the choices we make are truly free. I shall elaborate on this at a later stage in a separate blog post dedicated to my questions, finding and experiences regarding “free choice”.]
Anyway, what I wanted to say is this “Locks don’t belong in the love world”. To me Love Locks is an oxymoron.
Funny, because marriage is one big lock. A beautiful one, that I have for a long time wanted (again, not sure how much of this yearning is actually mine), and still kind of do, because I think it’s a wonderful method of a different kind of exploration.
I have not found a way of sorting out my own little dilemma of what to do and how to go about my situation but I thought I should share these drizzlings anyway. Release them into the interwebs and airwaves.
Anyhow, for now, this is where I stand. What are your thoughts?