Patience is a virtue I don’t possess

I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions as such. I’ve simply made a list of people from my past and present who I need to mend or improve relationships with.

I’ve identified the two most common denominators that have happily helped me to this point with this list of people.

The ego (what a trouble maker)

&

Lack of clear communication.

The funny thing is that when I look at myself I note my constant battle with my ego and feel I am winning (the concept in itself is so ironic), and also, I think I’m a fantastic communicator; yet, drawing up this list made me realise how far off the mark I really am.

Sometimes it’s so much easier to live in my head and weave pictures that satisfy me instead of opening my eyes to the reality that lies before me. This in itself is unclear communication with myself.

It’s so much easier to live there – in my head, where the birds chirp and the sun shines constantly.

One more thing I have added to my to-do list (it’s not a New Year’s resolution as it’s been on my list since last year around November already) is this:

“I need to practice more patience with the unfolding of my life”

I often condemn society’s obsession with instant gratification and have failed to realise that   I myself am a slave to this seductive tendency. Mine is not so much related to the acquisition of things, it is more tied to the curiosity and impatience with the unfolding of my life and the stories that are the people in my life and their relationship to me, which is a constantly changing commodity.

I’m a LEO and I know this has something to do with my make up – together with a lot of other things. I’m openly attributing a portion of my struggle with taming my ego to the Lioness that lies within and occasionally makes a dramatic appearance pouncing out in the shape of actions and words.

The wiser me knows that this is not the beginning nor the end of the constant gardening I will have to do on my soul.

So this is what she has reminded me, which calms me down, reminds me to breathe and allow myself to accept my imperfections and my inability to avoid making mistakes.

And most important of all, the comforter of all comforters is this here snippet of advice…

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One thought on “Patience is a virtue I don’t possess

  1. I just LOVE the way you write!!! If you ever turn author, please I want to be one of the first to know!!!!

    You know, I do the same thing! I romanticize the relationships in my life that are not quite what id like them to be… and there was a time when I really thought I was being so silly and that I should face reality and accept that things are pretty crappy…
    Now I still see pictures that satisfy me instead of what is really there- because Imagination is the best way to change what is… If you cant see what you’d rather be living, you cant begin to move toward it…
    Every-time I start to think that I need to face reality, I remember that doing that leaves me focusing on what I don’t want. Why would you be realistic? Whats the point of being realistic?
    If you haven’t seen this video, maybe you should! Will Smith is so wise!

    Oh on the patience front- Try to live so much in the moment that the unfolding of life flows… there never are mistakes. it simply looks that way because we cant see the bigger picture. most of our mistakes end up either opening or closing doors that needed it… Hugs! Much Love!

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