What is listening?

 

Here I am, sitting here and writing about listening. I keep surprising myself with what I am capable of and who I am becoming. I am dedicating an ENTIRE post to the phenomenon of listening. Wowee.

So this is basically from a deep-seated need to share my observations regarding this topic.

In this community (and many other communities and circles of friends and loved ones) we talk a lot about listening. I have zoomed in on this word and am now ready to share my observations.

Listening is not limited only to the process of absorbing words and sounds into your psyche through the organ we call an ear. No, it is not merely that.

Listening is not limited to a specific time and space.

Listening is not something we can switch on and off.

Listening is not limited to that one sense of “hearing”.

Listening is a way of being.

A method of moving through life,

a process of elimination,

it is not to be isolated, a lonely prisoner,

we listen by observing,

we listen by feeling,

we listen by being quiet,

we listen by acknowldeging presence,

we listen by getting to know others (on whichever level that feels truest),

we listen by being (which leads to doing because being and doing are the same),

we listen by sensing.

[I wish that I could be less abstract, but if you are listening to what I say here you will hopefully get from this, what I aim to put across]

 

There’s something about Sundays…

Something that I can’t quite place my finger on.

Today I was inspired to post using mainly images.

and not so many words as I usually do.

Here is my Sunday in images…

and a few sprinklings of words.

Today was a day for making Magwinya – a traditional and popular South African treat, made of flour, yeast, salt and sugar. (Magwinya are also known as a “Vet Koek” which is Afrikaans for Fat Cakes

I have been a little homesick and this was just the trick

It was also a day for strolling through a spring market and also a day for planting.

He accompanied my Sunday journey. Making dough, finding the perfect place to place the bowl so that the dough could raise, frying the batter and munching away!

The first batch – not bad eh.

Sizzle…Sizzzle!

The resultant “Magwinya mountain” which was enjoyed by quite a few happy mouths and taste-buds!

This guy over here equals PHENOMENAL.

A rare and pleasant sight – a clean Tallevana upstairs kitchen!

I went to a spring fair and market at the school up the road from home. By the time we arrived clothing items were going for 10SEK a bag. How insane? A fellow late-rising Yippie and I shared the bag and I walked away with these items:

A summer robe

Some ALpHaBeT suspenders

A floral waist-coat

And then I was finally moved to plant the seeds that I received during Initiative Forum from Nature and More.

Promotional shot!

“Sprinkle, sprinkle little seeds”

Time to beautify my new friends

Looking pretty

Their new home

Where does my responsibility to act & do begin and end?

This is a rather hard topic which has been weighing on my heart and shoulders for quite some time now and before and so I have decided to open up an invitation to your thoughts, comments and insights. They are welcome in all shapes and forms.

I’m having a little dilemma, and I’m not quite reaching a concrete and comfortable resting place. I believe deeply inside myself that “To whom much is given, much is expected”. I feel that I have been given much. In the way of talents and a gift which I am consciously working towards turning into a craft. Something more beautiful, genuinely useful and helpful to those I meet along the way. Until death do us part I would like this to be my contribution to the waking world, the dream world as well as the cyber world.

My time at YIP has been multi-dimensional.

One of the biggest aspects being that this place is one where I am offered the opportunity to do ANYTHING I want to do (within the realm of positive work). The key word here is A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. A terrifying reality in the way that there is actually nothing standing in my way, there is support, there are resources, there is time and there is space to pursue all that I wish to pursue. It is now and here that I am faced with my fears, they follow me around and sit beside me asking “what are you going to do with me and about me?”, staring me dead in the eyes, also, are limiting beliefs – constantly saying “no, but you can’t do that”, and “that’s impossible” with a smug look on their face. In addition to all this; there is the bitter, uncomfortable truth of excuses, which paralyse me from taking the steps I need and want to take. Excuses cooked up by me, myself and I, puffed up and being fed by the other previously mentioned accomplices, namely; limiting beliefs and fear.

I feel that I am privileged, not just me, but the rest of the youngsters from different parts of the world gathered in this one place called Ytterjärna. We are privileged in many differing ways, we are privileged to have the insight we possess which allows us to see the things we see, to feel that which we feel. We are privileged to be here.

Although I come not from a financially comfortable background, I can confidently say that I have used what I do have to do the best that I can to be where I want and know I need to be. I am privileged enough to access the courage to follow my own little path despite my material and very obvious challenges.

I have had several conversations with people who have been lead to this little big pond called YIP – those that have had the chance to be participants of The International Youth Initiative Program, also friends and family of those that have been a part of this experience.    Many are still searching for what to do next – obviously, as this entire experience of life is a journey in itself. Also because we have all waded through the little big pond of YIP with different intentions, expectations and being in different stages of our lives, growth and development, seeking different kinds of nourishment and truth. This already brings much difference in what we embark on following the experience.

[Source of Image]

However, I can not help but feel a little annoyed and *disappointed (I know that this feeling comes from having expectations which I am working on, feel free to read more about my struggle with expectations and letting go of them in this post) by the general level of laid-back-ness of some of my fellow yippies as well as my generation as a whole.

I believe that given the privileges, talents and gifts we are all blessed with, we also have a responsibility  which comes with these. Sort of how it works with rights and responsibilities – e.g: All beings have the right to clean drinking water, and also the responsibility to do what we can to use it well, not waste it and take care of water sources.

[Source of Image]

Similarly I believe that there is an unspoken agreement, that we have the privilege to be who we are, stumble along our lives making the mistakes we need to make, see what we see, possess the gifts and talents we hold and therefore also carry the responsibility to use these in order to co-create a better living environment. We have a responsibility to make use of those to bring enlightenment, happiness, alleviate pain and suffering and whatever else we see fit.

[Source of Image]

YIP is a fertile soil where I am offered that which I need, to be who I want to be, do what I want to do, do what I need to do in order to advance (both myself and humanity as a whole).

I am fully aware that there is a portion of myself that is feeling this way due to years and years of being brainwashed to do, think and act in a result-oriented manner. Yes, however, I still feel there is a level of responsibility we need to acknowledge.

My question to you then, is this,

“Do we have a responsibility to act and do?” 

If so

“Where does my (and your) responsibility to act & do begin and end” 

[Source of Image]

An invitation is THE MOST important thing of all

So as I have mentioned in my previous post (which can be found here), I have been having a rather challenging time lately and am slowly unpacking my insides and exploring my layers as well as working on what needs to be worked on. Most of it being attempting to mend broken relationships in an authentic way (not trying too hard, pushing too hard, taking my time) and finding an effective and good way of saying “no”, a way of doing what I love doing and giving what I enjoy giving whilst making sure I give myself what I need in order to do it in the best way. In other words turning, what I call, my work and my calling into a sustainable practice. A difficult thing.

At YIP we share everything – bedrooms, time, moments,space, love, laughs, tears, happiness, sadness, the sun, bread, bathrooms, the laundry machines, difficulty, work.

When I zoom out and pretend to be a hawk looking upon my life, and all of our lives as streams (or timelines) I see tiny streams leading to this little big pond called YIP, if I fast forward a little; I see the pond becoming split up again into individual little streams going in different directions again. Some closer than others, some in the same direction as others, some looking a little different than they were when they were lead to this pond. However, essentially we are all here, in the same place, in this time, sharing this very particular portion of our individual journeys on this earth.

There are many words that keep being used around here -  I’m so familiar with them, I could create a little booklet of them with quirky explanations of each. The one that falls, quite easily, in the top-5-most-used-words is INVITATION. At first I liked it, mainly because I have been trained as a coach and one of the biggest learnings I have taken from my training process was that if I want to make suggestions or give advice I need to ask for permission to do so, or I need to be invited or asked to do so. Under no other circumstances do I step into that zone. Understandably.

The Invitation, is what has been lacking in many interactions, situations, stories where the intention of the action or words has been good but has been missed or has caused pain and destruction due to the lack of the invitation for the action, suggestion or words despite the (good) intention.

It comes off as imposing. Dumping ideas, thoughts, actions, deeds onto an unwilling listener or receiver.

Of late I have been realising that part of what is causing me intense aggitation is being given words (in particular) that have simply been unwelcomed. Words that have just not been invited in. This is uncomfortable, because the intention in most cases is good, the aim is to assist or alleviate some sort of negative feelings or activity or lack there-of. It comes from a good place and yet it is still intensely being rejected by my insides. It’s like receiving spam in the form of unwanted and uninvited words of wisdom – “spam words of wisdom” as I like to call it.

Here is another example, slightly more focused on a particular area of work which has been, personally, a really difficult topic to tackle, the topic of “development aid”. This topic – for me – begs the question: “What is help, really?” and “what it true freedom?”.

I believe that this article begins to touch on what I’m talking about, through looking at the instance of the KONY2012 video.

My final thoughts when dealing with people, especially those in a dark place, approach with caution and assist only when assistance is asked for.

Wait for the invitation. Listen for it.

(Source of image above)

The resilience of Trees

This post is a result of scribblings I made on the back of receipts, bus & train schedules and a random leaflet while at a beautiful music concert where we listened to and supported one of my friends: The Pole Siblings and Idiot Wind with a special treat Tallest Man on Earth. A gathering where I got to meet and speak to the lovely duo of First Aid Kit! Some legendary people that I had wanted to meet since arriving in Sweden. Sweet.

This was during last week’s course with Marko Pogacnik, whose weekly update will follow soon.

[1 May 2012 - 21:09]

We can learn so much from nature; in specific; trees.

Source of Image

This evening I was standing outside during an interval of a small music gathering. I looked around me without much concentration on anything in particular. I noticed a tree, one of a row of trees on a street called Norrtulgatan in Stockholm.

The tree looked young, yet worn out. It looked like it had been abused and been through a lot, like a child that was malnourished for most of it’s existence in this life. It had what looked like large barnacles. On a human, I would say it looked like warts or some sort of leporosy.

This tree was not well, and even then, there was a part of it that was more than just alive but thriving. There were many tiny and beautiful flowers blossoming.

The irony of it was that the blossoming was happening in the direction where I imagine most o the abuse was coming from – the traffic.

Trees and nature speak not.

What I mean by this is that they communicate in a different manner and if we were able to access and use the language necessary to reach them on a deeper level, deeper than merely taking them in with one of our senses – that of sight, we would feel, hear and essentially learn more.

That tree; though battered by a lack of fresh air and by restriction (it’s buried in the ground but it’s most vital part – it’s roots are buried beneath the pavement which is made of concrete and other restricing material); like many human beings, it had been through a lot. It now lives not under the most desireable conditions and yet it continues to do what it does best…

blossom

stand strong

live

clear the air of CO2 *also known as breathing

Maybe like them our best gift to this planet is to do what we do best. To Be. Only that. That just by continuing and living and taking whatever comes our way we are giving the best gift we have. Life.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

We often underestimate our abilities, undermine our capabilities and devalue the role of our existence.

“The way to do is to be” – Lao Tzu

Source of Images:

Wit’s End Blog – Here

Wisdomout.com – Here

Naturkaku Blog – Here

A few essentials

As I was writing a heartfelt letter to a dear friend, I remembered this beautiful piece of truth, which somehow finds me when I am in deep despair.

Source of image

Sinking in order to rise

These past few weeks following Initiative Forum have been rather difficult. More than expected. I imagined that after such a climax of emotions, thoughts, conversations, ideas and connection, anything less than that would leave some sort of a void.

At first I was simply physically tired, having exhausted myself, and then it was physical exhaustion coupled with an emotional disconnect with the people around me, and then I lost a family member and sunk pretty low, and now I have reached the most extreme stage of what I call my “Post-IF crisis”

Symptoms of this syndrome include:

Excessive eating (almost as though attempting to fill some unfillable hole or gap)

Attempting to escape the rawness of reality and my emotions (by diving into movies, trashy American television.)

Sleeping (to a point of causing fatigue and lack of motivation)

Lack of motivation – due to sleeping (one of those chicken or egg situations)

At this point I am feeling overloaded, full and unable to give any more of myself. More than unable, I feel unwilling. I don’t want to give. I don’t want to give of my time, my space, my love, my attention, my listening ear, my affection, my anything really. I don’t care. I don’t want to care anymore. I am tired of caring. I don’t want to understand any longer. I don’t want to listen. I am tired of listening. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to share. I want my own physical space where I can cry, be angry, do nothing, do something without worrying about how it affects those around me.

I am tired of myself. Tired of myself in this group. There are so many versions (or mirrors) or myself walking around me constantly. Like a reminder of how inescapable our own way of being is. I am constantly staring at myself by looking at everyone here. Everyone here has a part of my way of being. Some more than others.

I am exhausted.

I know I should take time to take care of myself and be with myself and sit with this instead of ignoring it or pushing it aside, but I struggle to put me first. To love myself. To forgive myself. To let myself be. I need time away. But I have responsibilities of attending class. On the other hand I have a bigger responsibility to myself to give myself what I need in order to continue better. In a more balanced and healthy way.

This ties in with what I spoke of at the end of my post about last weeks course which can be found here – Sustainability and Sustainable Lifestyles. That in order for me to be able to give my best, do my best and be my best in a sustainable way I need to recognise when I have reached my limit and allow myself to be tired or angry or whatever it is that is needed in order to reach that. Only then can I give my best to anything and anyone.

I spoke to Matt (McMatre) last night and what really stuck out from our conversation was that I need to be gentle with myself. I need to stop judging myself so much.

Here is my favourite one of his tracks and also my lullaby these days since Initiative Forum – One Destination On Matre Music Enjoy…

I found this quite some time ago. Perhaps I am sinking, deep, hard, painfully in order to rise and learn how to do, be, give better.